The past few month have taken me down roads I never thought I would travel. Some were good, fun, learning experiences while others have torn my heart more than it was. I have found I can not really eat any gluten free bread. It makes my stomach just stop working, increases my joint pains, give me head fog and very bad bloating. I was doing well on the AIP diet, but life became so overwhelming with my dad having strokes and subsequent blindness, it has taken up all my time and energy. I am sensitive to pea protein as well as random spices and seem to be sensitive to pepper. I feel my best on AIP, but paleo works better than just gluten free. The AIP diet is very expensive to follow It is really hard because it severely cuts what I can and can't have. The good news is both paleo and AIP don't allow gluten nor soy so it follows my diet already.

Today is one year since my mom passed. I'm having a hard time eating at all today. My sugar is actually high today which is weird because I havent eaten that much. I believe I need to go back to doing liquids for right now with everything I have going on and try to detox my body again.

I had my appointment with my pulmonologist today and we went over what the hyperinflation in my lungs mean. Basically I can inhale but my body isnt exhaling properly so my lungs are over expanded. This makes doing any task physically impossible because my body cant pump the oxygen I need to the rest of my body. This is why even talking on the phone too long or too fast, or laughing, I get very short of breathe and/or go into a coughing fit. Every test Ive had that is for asthma has come back negative but I seem to have indications of a copd sort of lung disease. The other test he was focused on today was from over a year ago. It showed I was aspirating into my lungs when I drink. He remembered this after I told him I have been choking on my water very simply for no apparent reason. It keeps "going down the wrong pipe".  Normally this happens in stroke patients or people with MS. We don't know whats causing these new issues, but we need to do another test to see if it is going into my lungs and how much is going into my lungs because this will prevent lung infections from occurring. Speaking of infections, I'm currently suffering through my 5th kidney infection in 3 months. I'm in severe pain! The urologist is tired of me getting these infections and bugging them so I was referred to Infectious disease and Kidney Dr. I normally end up in the hospital and/or IV antibiotics at home because my infections get so bad I cant fight them off. My white blood cell count is low and my body is fighting all it can. I'm in pain, nauseous, exhausted and down right over all of the medical crap my body keeps throwing at me. My joints are inflamed and hurting a lot more than they normally do and I havent changed any of my rheum medications.

Last week I saw the kidney Dr and he thinks I have class 3 or class 4 kidney disease related to the autoimmune diseases. I am having a tough time accepting this. Even when my infections clear I still have blood and protein in my urine, indicating kidney disease. I am very high risk for kidney disease with all of the medications and disease I am currently fighting. I also keep having bilirubin in my urine. The most frustrating part of all of this is when people tell you that you look so healthy and don't believe you when you tell them everything you are fighting through. I believe people when they tell me things. Because my pain tolerance is high I know what its like to be sitting perfectly still and be in severe crushing pain.

I should be at the hospital but last time I went in they said I was a drug seeker and did not believe that I had the problems that I have. Its beyond frustrating to fight the same battles over and over. I have to pray that tomorrow when I see the infectious disease Dr that she will listen and understand the immune deficiency and how serious it is when I have an infection.

To top off everything my dad still hasn't been approved for placement right now into a new rehab facility and today is a year that my mom passed away. This is all on top of being a wife of a fireman who is gone and exhausted when he is home and mom to asperger/adhd daughter and a beautiful but emotional another daughter. I'm so blessed to have so much but I do wish God would take some things off my plate at the moment.