One of my worst fears

As a parent, from the time you find out you are having a precious child you dream of every moment being heaven and how wonderful and cute the baby will be. They are of course wonderful and cute, but theres this misconception when kids get a little older that we have as parents. We believe our kids should be perfect. I remember clearly several pre-kid days saying, "my kids will never do that". "My kids will never act that way". I will be a great mom, cook, clean, work, and go running! I just knew that I would be able to do it all. Until one day I realized I couldn't do it all, in fact I couldn't do close to any of it and my kids were far from perfect.

As moms we nit pick every thing our kids do. Why cant they be like so and sos kid? Their kids are so calm?! For a while I resented Brianna's special "needs". I didn't understand her and so it took me several years to really get on board with what in the world to do with her. Brianna's sensory disorder problem seems to have gotten worse. She over reacts to everything and she is way over emotional. She also had a huge bald spot in her head. So I took her to the dr and her dr did lab work. To my horror and utter disbelief her ANA came back positive, speckled AND homogeneous, as well as high SED rate. With all of the autoimmune problems and complications that I have there is a good chance that she too has something. Her doctor advised me to contact the pediatric rheumatologist in our area. With her lab results, her Raynauds, joint pain, rash, and hair loss its not good. To my horror again, the next appointment isnt until September! Normally, when people have a positive ANA they have one or the other either Speckled OR homogeneous. It is rare to have both. Which points very highly to Lupus or Juvenile Arthritis. With Brianna only being 7, I am scared to  death. I believe that God will take care of her no matter what but it still doesnt help my fears. 

:)

Its been a while! Ive been dealing with in/out of the hospital severe health problems. My girls have also gotten every cold/virus/bacterial infection since December. So weird since last year they were hardly sick! So for the most part its been just enough to keep our heads above water let alone worrying about new recipes. I just started playing with some new recipes to try. Since its finally getting a little warmer I'm sure we will be using the grill a lot more.

Dinner last night was Grilled Chicken with Baby Rays bbq sauce, sauteed potatoes with olive oil, rosemary and garlic with some corn.
Brianna ate it all and said it was her favorite potatoes even though normally she wont touch anything but mashed potatoes. Riley ate all her corn and finally ate her potatoes but wouldnt touch the "dirty" chicken.

We have transitioned from Lactaid milk to Coconut/Almond milk which is a lot healthier and doesnt have the added crap in it.

I am still having a lot of problems so its hard when Jason is working. Tonight the girls had Perdue's Gluten free Chicken nuggets (Which are certified gluten free) and Ore Ida tator tots and McCans smiles. :)

Our past love of Bob's Red mill gf cornbread has left. I don't know if they changed their bag but just doesn't taste the same. We are going to try Pamela's gf corn bread. I found it around the same price on amazon which is a lot cheaper than the store.

For some reason Riley has been breaking out in a lot of hives again. Im not sure if its from food or outside spring time. She has been having a lot more problems with her asthma too. Brianna has had a bad cough for about month now too. Nothing seems to help. Its frustrating!

As a mom we want to make everything better and easier and sometimes its just not possible.